Basic HTML Version
27
www.deltalivingmagazine.com
January – March
By Charleen Earley
I
’m a walking thesaurus and it’s becom-
ing a problem … or is it issue? I do it
sitting down too.While someone is talking,
I blurt out their last word for them or I’ll
throw out a better, more descriptive, il-
lustrative, colorful, eloquent and vivid
word to help them out.
But they don’t want my help –
wherein lies my problem (and possi-
ble speaking restraining orders called
peaceful contact).
I know what you’re thinking too.
Who died and made you Ms.Verbal
editor, eh?
I can’t help it. It’s not like I’m from
New Jersey and talk a-mile-a-minute,
but it seems everyone around me (here
in California) talks very slow, like I’m in
a dream.
It’s they who come up with the worst
words to describe their experiences. Or
they do that long minute, minute-and-a-half
pause with the annoying “um” to go with it.
This type of communication just screams in-
side my head with, “Charleen, help him out
quick, what’s the word he’s wanting to use
right now?”
It’s not me, it’s them, I convince myself.
If they’d just be more accurate in convey-
ing their messages, I wouldn’t have to jump
in and save their verbal-communication-day
with an amazingly precise and scrupulous
word. Not trying to toot my own vernacular
horn, but you’d think they’d be thanking me.
Instead they roll their eyes, grunt, reluc-
tantly repeat my word with disdainful re-
solve, or (and this one hurts) ask me to let
them nish their own sentence pleasssse. It
happened today.
When I get that type of “shush,” I realize
I have a dilemma and things are getting way
out of control. Is there an AA program for
this?
Hi, my name is Charleen and I’m a sen-
tence- nisher.Welcome Charleen!
Only I’m not welcome. People around me
would rather polish o their sentence with
the most tedious, dreary, unexciting, weari-
some, humdrum, uninspiring, un-thoughtful,
non-descriptive, mind-numbing, inaccurate,
lackluster word they can muster.And they’re
perfectly happy with it too, borderline proud.
Seriously?
So I muster a silent prayer. Forgive them
Father, for they know not what better word
to use. I also pray (heavily) that those around
them will somehow miraculously understand
the message conveyed.They usually do.
So it is me.
Ultimately, I’m learning to keep my
mouth shut; to speak and let speak; and to
toss out my internal thesaurus while others
are talking … or is it yapping?
I’m a walking thesaurus…
or is it wordasaurus!
Funn
side
p
u
y
having great
vocabulary
didn’ t save the
from extinction /
eradication /
extirpation
THESAURUS